So much for disciplined over-sharing – despite my best intentions, the month of December always turns into a gigantic black hole.
We’re currently in Quito, Ecuador, bound for the Galapagos Islands where we’ll be ringing in 2015 on an itty-bitty boat that’s bound to make the September cruise look like a floating Four Seasons Hotel.
It will probably be a week of seasickness, boat-fuel-induced headaches, and possibly scurvy, but even the most intolerable living conditions can be justified according to the rewards: friendly seals + penguins > Señor Frogs in Cozumel.
I don’t know about you, but I’m more excited than usual to put the past year behind me. I just have a lot of conflicted feelings about it. Maybe this is pathetic, but the decision to quit my job stands out as the most significant “moment” of 2014, and even though I’m still irritatingly unsure of what I actually want to do with my life, I learned a tough lesson in the process.
Ready for a cliche?
Cue the cheesy music.
I talked to so many people about my decision to leave the Hill after eight years. Am I an idiot? Will I regret it? What am I going to do when I finish law school? What if I never find a job? What if I don’t want a job?
I got so much feedback, mostly the kind I didn’t want to hear and frankly, didn’t need, because the only person whose opinion mattered was Jake. After that, my mind was made up.
But I couldn’t stop “talking it over” with everyone and anyone who would engage me on the subject. Some of the things I heard back made me question my relationships and wonder what the people in my life really think of me, and not in a good way. Months later, some of their opinions still ring in my ears. People saying this was essentially just a step toward being a full-time housewife, and while that prospect doesn’t bug me per se, I hate knowing what the people in my life will think of me if that’s the road I choose. They’re certainly entitled to their opinions, but I’d really be better off not knowing them.
There are people, like Jake, who truly don’t care what other people think, and they don’t waste their time – or anyone else’s – by soliciting feedback and advice.
I’m not one of them. But quitting my job taught me why I should be: if your mind is already made up, but you’re still seeking input, you’re not actually looking for guidance – you’re looking for permission.
I’d really like to stop doing that in 2015.
There are also about 500 other things I’d like to accomplish in the coming year, but that’s the biggie. (I’d also like to be a better blogger. And comment-responder.)
What about you? Do you have any advice for soon-to-be recovering people pleasers??
I hope you have a sufficiently NON-anti-climactic New Year’s Eve and a great start to 2015. See you in a week!!
Ala, aka JTT, wanted to say hi.